12 Mind Tricks to Make People Like You Help You Get Ahead (June 2020)

12 Mind Tricks to Make People Like You Help You Get Ahead (June 2020) 12 Mind Tricks to Make People Like You Help You Get Ahead in 2020 Image: pixabay.comFirst of all, a word of caution. You should not take the term mind tricks as guidance towards becoming a Jedi master. Nor should you take the term as a signal that these mind tricks are deceitful or underhand.True, Number 12 does  go into that territory. Thats why it’s last on the list, and should be regarded as an observational tool to help you read the behaviour of others.But these mind tricks are more a set of phenomenaâ€"an exploration of how the  natural quirks of our brain manifest in our daily lives, and studying how to harness these to make a positive impression on everyone you encounter.Former FBI counterintelligence officer Joe Navarro  and  co-author Marvin Karlins have  written about this  at length in the brilliant What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People. Navarro and Karlins explore techniques for decoding the sentiments and behaviour of others, and for using body language to positively influence what others think of you.With minimal effort on your part, the following  mind tricks can  make a significant difference in your life: in  the way you behave and appear to others, and in the way that other people will behave towards you. Follow up on these tips by exploring Navarro Karlin’s book, and other best-sellers such as Body Language in Business  by Adrian Furnham and Evgeniya Petrova, and The Definitive Book of Body Language by  Allan and  Barbara Pease. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 1. Asking someone for a favour makes them like  you moreThis phenomenon is best illustrated by what’s known as the Ben Franklin Effect, in honour of the research that Franklin undertook into the maxim: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”During his time in the Pennsylvania legislature in the 18th century, Franklin  defused the animosity of a rival, by sending him a note requesting  the favour of a loan o f an extremely rare book from his adversary’s library. The rival lent the book, and, Franklin writes, “when we next met… he spoke to me (which he had never done before), and with great civility; and he ever after manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends”.There are many explanations for this phenomenon of why it is someone will unconsciously  justify why they are willing to do a favour for you. Whether or not asking for a favour  triggers decisive, objective self-criticism on the part of the person being asked, the reality is that these justifications serve you perfectly. You  will have the favour granted, and the person who does you the favour will like you more than they did before.2.  When a group of people laughs, members makes eye contact with the person they feel closest toHave you ever wanted the mind trick of finding out how people feel about one another. Just observe a group of people who are laughing. In laughter, members of a group will unconsciously make eye contact with the person they feel closest to. This is actually not a case of  mind tricks at allâ€"it’s simply disciplined and astute observation of a ‘tell’. It can reveal how well your team members trust one another. And naturally, such observation can reveal how people feel about you, as well as how you regard others, just by paying attention to whom you make eye contact with in the group. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 3. Stay Silent to Get AnswersIf you ask someone a question and they do not respond immediately, remember the rule: silence is golden. You should not feel any pressure to break the silence by moving the conversation on. Yes, the silent moments do prompt us to speak, but if you have asked a question, you have put the ball in their court. Allow them to answer. This is a mind trick or technique that is fantastic for using in negotiations as well as the difficult conversations that can arise in business from time to time. Remember, dont break the silence until you get your answer.4. Create Trust with Palms Open HandsImage Source: PixabayGestures and body language in inter-personnel and team relationships are important. They can not only tell you about the temperament of the people that you observe, but astute reading of such non-verbal communication is another of the great mind tricks that you can use to make people feel significantly more positive towards you. Communicating and gesturing with open hands and the palms conveys openness, reasonableness, giving and generosity. On the other hand, pointing is a more brash, assertive and aggressive form of body language, which is generally seen as aggressive and rude. As an indication of how important this is, LEGOLAND has a  policy stipulating that employees should ‘present’ directions, with open palms, to customers, rather than pointing. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 5. Nod as you speak to get someone onsideA nother  mind trick  arising from body language comes from looking into  the ‘mirroring’ phenomenon; the tendency of humans to mirror the body language of others while attempting to understand what they are saying or feeling. If you have a difficult conversation or a negotiation coming up, or some other situation where it’s critical to get someone onside with your way of thinking, try nodding your head as you speak. This gesture is appealing to others, as it indicates that you are telling the truth, and that what you’re saying is positiveâ€"therefore, not only are likely to mirror you physically, they are also more inclined to agree with you.6. Being excited makes other people like youRelated to the above point about nodding  and mirroring behaviour, it’s a demonstrable fact that if you display excitement and enthusiasm while speaking to others about something, they will mirror that excitement and look on you favourably. Another of the most effective  mind tricks then, espe cially if you want to make a strong first impression, at a pitch or a job interview. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 7. The Zeigarnik Effect: People remember things that are  unfinished or incompletePsychologist Bluma Zeigarnik studied this phenomenon in the 1920s, intrigued by how waiters had better recall of orders that were unpaid, and was unable to remember any details once bills were paid.  The theory is that incomplete statements or tasks create a cognitive  tension, or continuum, during which it’s easier to access and remember the content. Right up to the present day, advertisers still tap into the power of the Zeignarnik Effect, using incomplete headlines, or no ‘period‘ punctuation mark to increase email opening rates, for example.8. Maintain eye contact… but don’t overdo it!Image Source: PixabayWith eye contact, the thing we are all told is vital, the key is not to overdo it. If you maintain eye contact 100 percent of the time, it just comes a cross as weird and aggressive. Similarly, if you underdo it, it will make you appear  shy at best, evasive at worst. So think Goldilocks The Three Bears… not too much, not too little, but just write. Maintaining eye contact for about 50 to 60 percent of the time will make you  appear friendly and trustworthy. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 9. Use a person’s name… but don’t overdo it!Another of the most effective mind tricks is to use  a person’s name in conversation: it makes them feel better about themselves. The trick is to do so with a sense of balance, similar to what we discussed about eye contact above. A good guide is if you are spending 5 minutes speaking with someone at a networking meeting, use their name three times in the conversation. Do it naturally, rather than unnecessarily tacking their name onto every sentence you utter, which, like 100 percent eye contact, can come across as creepy.10. Observe the positioning of people’s feetWhile you are having a conversation with someone, pay attention to the position of their feet. Be aware that if the person’s feet are pointing in your direction, they are interested in what you’re saying. But if their feet are pointed away from you, they are likely not paying attention and not really interested in what you are talking about. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); 11. Chew gum for  focus… but dont overdo it!Chewing gum is scientifically proven to lower levels  of the stress  hormone cortisol in the body, but did you know that it also improves focus and memory. It’s probably best not to chew it all the time. Some people simply cannot stand the sight of people who chew gum! However, it is useful during stressful situations, when the raised cortisol and other factors always heighten the  risk of a physically primal ‘fight or flight’ response. Chewing gum increases blood flow to the brain, therefore helping to keep all senses alert, and leading to bet ter decisions.12. Embarrassing details make a lie more believableImage Source: PixabayThe more  embellishment and detail that accompanies a lie, it’s more likely that people will believe it. Detail, embellishment, are the very stuff that people use to paint  a visual  of your story in their minds. Why the embarrassing details and embellishments are so effective is, most people unconsciously  believe that someone would be more inclined to make themselves look good, not bad, if making up a story. So if they’re telling a story that has numerous embarrassing details about themselves, they cant be making it up, right? Or can they?Put these mind tricks to the test today by observing the behaviour of others, and of yourself, in situations similar to those outline above. If you attempt to follow these tips, you’re  bound to notice a difference in the way people behave towards you.